Grinding

I used to think that in order to be a successful Poker Player that I needed to "grind it out" at the lower limit cash tables in order to get my chops. Certainly NL is out of the question. Now... I like poker as much (if not more) than the next guy, but I can't think of a more meaningless and fruitless approach to poker.


I know I know... This is what you're supposed to do, this is how you make money playing poker. What I decided is this approach would essentially kill poker for me. I tried...Lord knows I tried. I spent countless hour trying to 'beat' low stakes limit games. I became a computer...An atomotron....seriously, if bots DON'T exist, my name ain't Brian.

I couldn't stand it. My inner gambler, my Id, whatever wouldn't let me.

Two traits shape me as a player.. I know that I devalue myself when possible, I downplay my ego, and my deep desire to win in an effort to make you guys think I don't care. But I care, deeply.

The first trait is that of a thrillseeker. I enjoy watching the chips come across the table (especially in my direction). But its the thrill of competition, combat if you will. Part of being a thrillseeker in poker carries negative expectations, and negative results. Sometimes I'm just compelled to hit that 4-outer on the river, I'll take my chances and live with the results. Any edge you can get in poker can be cultivated and used. If I'm perceived as a loose maniac, I know it, and I can use that. By the way I have seen loose maniacs, and I am not one.

Secondly, I have obtained the knowledge that despite the cards in my hand, I am better than my competition. I don't mean to offend anyone, but every poker player needs this trait. Some feed it, some keep it at bay.


What DRIVES you to play this game? If it's making money, why not go be a mortgage broker? I think being a mortgage broker might actually be easier than making a living at poker.


/soapbox

Anyway I tried to grind (yes, the man knows irony) out some more hands at PP and clear my $30 bonus. I played a little over 100 raked hands on 2 50NL tables. I couldn't play very long cause admittedly I was dog tired. I haven't gotten much more than 5 hours sleep a night this week due to the revolving list of moving shit, back pain, and poker playing. Oh add a little stress to that list as well.

I distinctly remember the last time I got a 'free' bonus at PP. I turned my $30 into over 400 in less than a week. I was so full of my own shit that I started playing 100 SNG's. One cash and 4 losses later I had boneheaded myself out of a nice payday. That ain't me now..I'm fighting for something these days, I may actually be starting to take this seriously. In short, I'm dead money.

But really, I want to approach this with my eyes open. I can use the past as a reminder not to be a complete idiot.........maybe. I built my stack to just under $200, I have about 80 raked hands to go. Again, just like the last time I did this, I can't believe just how horrible the players are at PP. At least at this level. Or am I just getting cards?? We'll see in another 80 hands or so I guess.


BTW sorry I missed the WWDN(NOT) last night...I was asleep by 10:30....ahh that felt good.


PS I almost to give a shout to my Big Brother (king1112 at PS) on his 41st Birthday!!!!


DAMN YOUR OLD!