Something lost, something gained.
I've been thinking about the effect the loss of Neteller means to me. First of all it was really annoying. I am not as bad off as most people, I only had a relatively small amount there. I had luckily taken out some $ from my good cash in the 25K.
I also put a good bit in FT and PS (which I subsequently lost in Jan/Feb). This all culminated with a stressful job move and the ongoing stress of raising a family, having a wife who works part time and is in school part time.
So despite my accomplishment in the personal arena (new job mo' money), I was not equipped for the pressure and the swing in poker in Jan/Feb. Now its all gone. Every last cent I have earned in poker in the last 3 years has vanished. It is truly sickening since I had reached a self sustaining roll just in the last year or so. I was not equipped to handle the loss and subsequently burned through everything in classic chase/tilt manner.
Brave New World
I was really down on poker and just had a sick feeling, like my stomach was burning in its own acids. I've been down before, but most of that was due to outside influences. Poker has always been a fun outlet for me, but for 2 months it turned into something else. Something that I thought I had gotten out of my system. A compulsion.
Now that I have gained some perspective, I can see it. I have now given myself some time to figure out what I'm going to do about it. Since Lent began, I have not gone a day without thinking about playing. I want to get back and plug the hole. The loss of Neteller has allowed me the opportunity to re-evaluate (again) what I'm doing.
Enter ePassporte. Now I can fund my account again, its kind of scary, because I'm not sure if I have the responsibility for it. The good thing is that I have another month to hash that out. Hopefully after Easter I will have a better idea of what I hope to accomplish. If I can't come up with a plan and a real goal, then I just may have to be done online for awhile. I really don't want that to happen though. We shall see.
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?
What the hell is wrong with you people???? I'm really having a hard time believing there are only 3 bloggers who want to play fantasy baseball. If there's one thing more American than poker, it's baseball.
The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Ohhhhhhhh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come. -Terrence Mann, Field of Dreams
COME JOIN THE LEAGUE! If you need more info that you can't find here, contact me at 23skidoo at geemail.