Release.

I had something I wanted to write about earlier, but I forgot.

I'm suffering form sleep deprivation I think. I've overindulged in poker, it's an obsession that I have no control over. Previously I embraced the obsession, hoping in some way that I could cleanse myself of the need by overexposure. Like a flu vaccine or something. Immersion has only breeded further obsession. I constantly think about poker. I relate almost all situations to poker.

It's all a game, a play.

I've tried setting rules for myself, ha!

I've endured self imposed bans.

I've been asked on numerous occasions just to show some levity, SOME control. Nope.


I'm running pretty good lately, although the 45sngChallenge has been somewhat humbling so far. I feel good, in control enlightened even.

I'm also feeling burnt out. My back hurts, my freaking carpal tunnel is acting up, (12 hours a day at least on the computer) I'm forgetting things, I'm completely unproductive at work.

What's the point of this post? Beats me. I need sleep.

I see the cycle, it's too easy. How do I skirt it, avoid it? All of us go through this to a certain extent. Don't we?

Sorry that I'm being a whiny bitch, but this blog is still for me and maybe if I can just get it out there, somehow I can release it.