Last night was my 7th wedding anniversary. My wife was in school until 10, so I played cards. Played a $20,000 guaranteed at PR and came in a disappointing 500 something. In the meantime though I played a .50-1 NL. The first hand I sit down to 8-6 diamonds. I'm in the blind, so I call a .50 raise to see the flop. 7 9 5 is the flop and I cant believe my eyes. Raiser in front of me makes a pot-sized bet and I re-raise, he quickly goes all in for ~$25. I actually pause to think what he might have....doesn't really matter does it? I call and he turns over 10-10, sweet. I double up on my first hand and lose a bit of interest in the MTT maybe. Then I played a 20-2 SNG and won it. My wife came home by the end, so I didn't look through the hands. I can't thing of anything spectacular that I played, so I'll try to get my hand history tonight.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
8-22
Last night was my 7th wedding anniversary. My wife was in school until 10, so I played cards. Played a $20,000 guaranteed at PR and came in a disappointing 500 something. In the meantime though I played a .50-1 NL. The first hand I sit down to 8-6 diamonds. I'm in the blind, so I call a .50 raise to see the flop. 7 9 5 is the flop and I cant believe my eyes. Raiser in front of me makes a pot-sized bet and I re-raise, he quickly goes all in for ~$25. I actually pause to think what he might have....doesn't really matter does it? I call and he turns over 10-10, sweet. I double up on my first hand and lose a bit of interest in the MTT maybe. Then I played a 20-2 SNG and won it. My wife came home by the end, so I didn't look through the hands. I can't thing of anything spectacular that I played, so I'll try to get my hand history tonight.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Poker Post
OK....I'll try to start talking about poker again. I posted some links to poker blogs that I like to read. I will possibly add more in the future. I'll talk about my current run.....It is an interesting point when you start to realize how you are playing and can act on it. Here's an example.
Three weeks ago I help organize a tournament for a website that I frequent. It is not a poker site, and I will not post the address, but I'll say it is a website dedicated to nothing in particular..off topic ramblings and such. Anywho....I set up the tourney on Pokerstars and helped to fund several (~6) people get into it. We turned out 39 people with about 10 of them who I would consider 'solid' players.
I played only premium hands until I could get a feel for the table...I stayed away from big pots and pushed hard when I was in. I stayed near the middle of the pack until we got down to 2 tables, then began to push. The play for the most part was weak, and I picked up hands when needed and didn't take any unnecessary beats. I made it to the final table in 5th or 6th place and stayed solid/passive until I get to QQ UTG. Short stack to my left goes all in and chip leader calls. I put chip leader on A-x or suited cards and short stack on any thing in level 1 -3. I decide to smooth call the all-in, praying that A-K doesn't show up. Flop comes J 9 (c) 5h, Chip Leader checks and I make a pot sized bet (about half my stack) to push him off a draw. He comes over the top all in. So I think he has hit the Jack, has a flush or straight draw, which I also have a piece of. No way I put him on AA KK or JJ, just didn't feel right. I call off my chips and turn over the queens. He turns over AJ and the peanut gallery goes nuts. The turn and river comes up blanks. What a feeling. 2 hands later I get AA and have two all in callers. Down to 3 players and Previous chip leader had taken a big chunk of #3 to get a small lead. Short stack whittles away 3 blinds and goes out to chip leader. He had about 2-1 on me going into heads up. This is where I know my game needs work. We go heads up for 20 minutes, I play aggressive, he folds a lot. A big hand comes A10 for me and I double the blind. He raises, and I call ....I get blanks on the flop and he makes a pot size bet...Most likely pockets here, so I fold. At one point he had more than 3-1 on me.
There was a turning point in which I had put in half my stack in on a blank board and he called. After two more cards, I had J high and went all in, to which he folded!! Unbelievable, he gave me ammunition and I began to trap since he would weak call any bet now. I eventually came out on top, not by any remarkable hands or beats, by simply outplaying him...
Outplaying is an often over used term, and having been on both sides of the player/playee equation, I'd like to examine what it means exactly.
There are times in a given session or series of session, where you can feel like you are making every call properly. Everything works; bluffs, slow plays, raise/reraises etc.. The last few times playing, I've actively searched to get that feeling. It is like imposing your will on players and the cards....sometimes it lasts days or weeks, sometimes one hand. If there is a way to harness this, to feel it out....it would be incredible.
Every poker player I've read or talked to knows this feeling. Do the pro's feel this or get this more often? I really don't want to equate this with luck, because I've been on a lucky streak before....this is more than that. It has to do with confidence and will. I know when I have it, I know when I don't, now I want to go and get it anytime.
OK, so I can ramble a bit, but I will do my best to test my writing skills other than train of thought.
Three weeks ago I help organize a tournament for a website that I frequent. It is not a poker site, and I will not post the address, but I'll say it is a website dedicated to nothing in particular..off topic ramblings and such. Anywho....I set up the tourney on Pokerstars and helped to fund several (~6) people get into it. We turned out 39 people with about 10 of them who I would consider 'solid' players.
I played only premium hands until I could get a feel for the table...I stayed away from big pots and pushed hard when I was in. I stayed near the middle of the pack until we got down to 2 tables, then began to push. The play for the most part was weak, and I picked up hands when needed and didn't take any unnecessary beats. I made it to the final table in 5th or 6th place and stayed solid/passive until I get to QQ UTG. Short stack to my left goes all in and chip leader calls. I put chip leader on A-x or suited cards and short stack on any thing in level 1 -3. I decide to smooth call the all-in, praying that A-K doesn't show up. Flop comes J 9 (c) 5h, Chip Leader checks and I make a pot sized bet (about half my stack) to push him off a draw. He comes over the top all in. So I think he has hit the Jack, has a flush or straight draw, which I also have a piece of. No way I put him on AA KK or JJ, just didn't feel right. I call off my chips and turn over the queens. He turns over AJ and the peanut gallery goes nuts. The turn and river comes up blanks. What a feeling. 2 hands later I get AA and have two all in callers. Down to 3 players and Previous chip leader had taken a big chunk of #3 to get a small lead. Short stack whittles away 3 blinds and goes out to chip leader. He had about 2-1 on me going into heads up. This is where I know my game needs work. We go heads up for 20 minutes, I play aggressive, he folds a lot. A big hand comes A10 for me and I double the blind. He raises, and I call ....I get blanks on the flop and he makes a pot size bet...Most likely pockets here, so I fold. At one point he had more than 3-1 on me.
There was a turning point in which I had put in half my stack in on a blank board and he called. After two more cards, I had J high and went all in, to which he folded!! Unbelievable, he gave me ammunition and I began to trap since he would weak call any bet now. I eventually came out on top, not by any remarkable hands or beats, by simply outplaying him...
Outplaying is an often over used term, and having been on both sides of the player/playee equation, I'd like to examine what it means exactly.
There are times in a given session or series of session, where you can feel like you are making every call properly. Everything works; bluffs, slow plays, raise/reraises etc.. The last few times playing, I've actively searched to get that feeling. It is like imposing your will on players and the cards....sometimes it lasts days or weeks, sometimes one hand. If there is a way to harness this, to feel it out....it would be incredible.
Every poker player I've read or talked to knows this feeling. Do the pro's feel this or get this more often? I really don't want to equate this with luck, because I've been on a lucky streak before....this is more than that. It has to do with confidence and will. I know when I have it, I know when I don't, now I want to go and get it anytime.
OK, so I can ramble a bit, but I will do my best to test my writing skills other than train of thought.
Poker Post
OK....I'll try to start talking about poker again. I posted some links to poker blogs that I like to read. I will possibly add more in the future. I'll talk about my current run.....It is an interesting point when you start to realize how you are playing and can act on it. Here's an example.
Three weeks ago I help organize a tournament for a website that I frequent. It is not a poker site, and I will not post the address, but I'll say it is a website dedicated to nothing in particular..off topic ramblings and such. Anywho....I set up the tourney on Pokerstars and helped to fund several (~6) people get into it. We turned out 39 people with about 10 of them who I would consider 'solid' players.
I played only premium hands until I could get a feel for the table...I stayed away from big pots and pushed hard when I was in. I stayed near the middle of the pack until we got down to 2 tables, then began to push. The play for the most part was weak, and I picked up hands when needed and didn't take any unnecessary beats. I made it to the final table in 5th or 6th place and stayed solid/passive until I get to QQ UTG. Short stack to my left goes all in and chip leader calls. I put chip leader on A-x or suited cards and short stack on any thing in level 1 -3. I decide to smooth call the all-in, praying that A-K doesn't show up. Flop comes J 9 (c) 5h, Chip Leader checks and I make a pot sized bet (about half my stack) to push him off a draw. He comes over the top all in. So I think he has hit the Jack, has a flush or straight draw, which I also have a piece of. No way I put him on AA KK or JJ, just didn't feel right. I call off my chips and turn over the queens. He turns over AJ and the peanut gallery goes nuts. The turn and river comes up blanks. What a feeling. 2 hands later I get AA and have two all in callers. Down to 3 players and Previous chip leader had taken a big chunk of #3 to get a small lead. Short stack whittles away 3 blinds and goes out to chip leader. He had about 2-1 on me going into heads up. This is where I know my game needs work. We go heads up for 20 minutes, I play aggressive, he folds a lot. A big hand comes A10 for me and I double the blind. He raises, and I call ....I get blanks on the flop and he makes a pot size bet...Most likely pockets here, so I fold. At one point he had more than 3-1 on me.
There was a turning point in which I had put in half my stack in on a blank board and he called. After two more cards, I had J high and went all in, to which he folded!! Unbelievable, he gave me ammunition and I began to trap since he would weak call any bet now. I eventually came out on top, not by any remarkable hands or beats, by simply outplaying him...
Outplaying is an often over used term, and having been on both sides of the player/playee equation, I'd like to examine what it means exactly.
There are times in a given session or series of session, where you can feel like you are making every call properly. Everything works; bluffs, slow plays, raise/reraises etc.. The last few times playing, I've actively searched to get that feeling. It is like imposing your will on players and the cards....sometimes it lasts days or weeks, sometimes one hand. If there is a way to harness this, to feel it out....it would be incredible.
Every poker player I've read or talked to knows this feeling. Do the pro's feel this or get this more often? I really don't want to equate this with luck, because I've been on a lucky streak before....this is more than that. It has to do with confidence and will. I know when I have it, I know when I don't, now I want to go and get it anytime.
OK, so I can ramble a bit, but I will do my best to test my writing skills other than train of thought.
Three weeks ago I help organize a tournament for a website that I frequent. It is not a poker site, and I will not post the address, but I'll say it is a website dedicated to nothing in particular..off topic ramblings and such. Anywho....I set up the tourney on Pokerstars and helped to fund several (~6) people get into it. We turned out 39 people with about 10 of them who I would consider 'solid' players.
I played only premium hands until I could get a feel for the table...I stayed away from big pots and pushed hard when I was in. I stayed near the middle of the pack until we got down to 2 tables, then began to push. The play for the most part was weak, and I picked up hands when needed and didn't take any unnecessary beats. I made it to the final table in 5th or 6th place and stayed solid/passive until I get to QQ UTG. Short stack to my left goes all in and chip leader calls. I put chip leader on A-x or suited cards and short stack on any thing in level 1 -3. I decide to smooth call the all-in, praying that A-K doesn't show up. Flop comes J 9 (c) 5h, Chip Leader checks and I make a pot sized bet (about half my stack) to push him off a draw. He comes over the top all in. So I think he has hit the Jack, has a flush or straight draw, which I also have a piece of. No way I put him on AA KK or JJ, just didn't feel right. I call off my chips and turn over the queens. He turns over AJ and the peanut gallery goes nuts. The turn and river comes up blanks. What a feeling. 2 hands later I get AA and have two all in callers. Down to 3 players and Previous chip leader had taken a big chunk of #3 to get a small lead. Short stack whittles away 3 blinds and goes out to chip leader. He had about 2-1 on me going into heads up. This is where I know my game needs work. We go heads up for 20 minutes, I play aggressive, he folds a lot. A big hand comes A10 for me and I double the blind. He raises, and I call ....I get blanks on the flop and he makes a pot size bet...Most likely pockets here, so I fold. At one point he had more than 3-1 on me.
There was a turning point in which I had put in half my stack in on a blank board and he called. After two more cards, I had J high and went all in, to which he folded!! Unbelievable, he gave me ammunition and I began to trap since he would weak call any bet now. I eventually came out on top, not by any remarkable hands or beats, by simply outplaying him...
Outplaying is an often over used term, and having been on both sides of the player/playee equation, I'd like to examine what it means exactly.
There are times in a given session or series of session, where you can feel like you are making every call properly. Everything works; bluffs, slow plays, raise/reraises etc.. The last few times playing, I've actively searched to get that feeling. It is like imposing your will on players and the cards....sometimes it lasts days or weeks, sometimes one hand. If there is a way to harness this, to feel it out....it would be incredible.
Every poker player I've read or talked to knows this feeling. Do the pro's feel this or get this more often? I really don't want to equate this with luck, because I've been on a lucky streak before....this is more than that. It has to do with confidence and will. I know when I have it, I know when I don't, now I want to go and get it anytime.
OK, so I can ramble a bit, but I will do my best to test my writing skills other than train of thought.
Monday, August 01, 2005
35
I have now entered my 35th year. This is the year I have designated as 'adult' year. I am officially an adult now, if it wasn't hitting me in the head before. I don't know what I expect to change, but I need to start taking care of myself physically. I am a bit chubby around the middle and could stand to lose 10-15 lbs. Mentally, I should try to stimulate myself with something other than cards and other time waisting BS. This will be tough. Finally, for my kids. I feel like I alienate them too much, and am sometimes too strict. I am quick to anger, and need to find a way to chane that one for sure. I don't want them to hate me, but I don't want to be a pushover either. Tough balance.
SO maybe I can use this as a tool. Day 1 Being an adult: I did my job today so far, ate a nutricious lunch with chicken, pasta and an apple. I'm planning on taking my son to Six Flags this weekend. I will buy a book on starting a Bar/Restaurant tonight and begin reading it. I can't have pipe dreams without things to fill them with.
Later, and happy birthday to me.
BTW, neither my brother OR sister called to say happy birthday.....that sucks.
edit 8/18: I found my brothers birthday card last night going through my desh DOH! I called him and apologized for giving him crap.
SO maybe I can use this as a tool. Day 1 Being an adult: I did my job today so far, ate a nutricious lunch with chicken, pasta and an apple. I'm planning on taking my son to Six Flags this weekend. I will buy a book on starting a Bar/Restaurant tonight and begin reading it. I can't have pipe dreams without things to fill them with.
Later, and happy birthday to me.
BTW, neither my brother OR sister called to say happy birthday.....that sucks.
edit 8/18: I found my brothers birthday card last night going through my desh DOH! I called him and apologized for giving him crap.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
35
I have now entered my 35th year. This is the year I have designated as 'adult' year. I am officially an adult now, if it wasn't hitting me in the head before. I don't know what I expect to change, but I need to start taking care of myself physically. I am a bit chubby around the middle and could stand to lose 10-15 lbs. Mentally, I should try to stimulate myself with something other than cards and other time waisting BS. This will be tough. Finally, for my kids. I feel like I alienate them too much, and am sometimes too strict. I am quick to anger, and need to find a way to chane that one for sure. I don't want them to hate me, but I don't want to be a pushover either. Tough balance.
SO maybe I can use this as a tool. Day 1 Being an adult: I did my job today so far, ate a nutricious lunch with chicken, pasta and an apple. I'm planning on taking my son to Six Flags this weekend. I will buy a book on starting a Bar/Restaurant tonight and begin reading it. I can't have pipe dreams without things to fill them with.
Later, and happy birthday to me.
BTW, neither my brother OR sister called to say happy birthday.....that sucks.
edit 8/18: I found my brothers birthday card last night going through my desh DOH! I called him and apologized for giving him crap.
SO maybe I can use this as a tool. Day 1 Being an adult: I did my job today so far, ate a nutricious lunch with chicken, pasta and an apple. I'm planning on taking my son to Six Flags this weekend. I will buy a book on starting a Bar/Restaurant tonight and begin reading it. I can't have pipe dreams without things to fill them with.
Later, and happy birthday to me.
BTW, neither my brother OR sister called to say happy birthday.....that sucks.
edit 8/18: I found my brothers birthday card last night going through my desh DOH! I called him and apologized for giving him crap.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
I suck at this
Courtesy of The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator
I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning, but it's not important. I've just been hanging out not getting anything done, but I don't care. I haven't been up to much these days. Basically not much notable going on lately. Today was a complete loss. I haven't gotten much done lately.
Pretty much sums it up.
I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning, but it's not important. I've just been hanging out not getting anything done, but I don't care. I haven't been up to much these days. Basically not much notable going on lately. Today was a complete loss. I haven't gotten much done lately.
Pretty much sums it up.
I suck at this
Courtesy of The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator
I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning, but it's not important. I've just been hanging out not getting anything done, but I don't care. I haven't been up to much these days. Basically not much notable going on lately. Today was a complete loss. I haven't gotten much done lately.
Pretty much sums it up.
I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning, but it's not important. I've just been hanging out not getting anything done, but I don't care. I haven't been up to much these days. Basically not much notable going on lately. Today was a complete loss. I haven't gotten much done lately.
Pretty much sums it up.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
omghi2u
Typical boring day......tuesday, going to a staff dinner tonight. I'd rather go home to sleep. owell
in the drama of being
insecure born into thinking
finding a line to draw, only blown away by the sand
going into it is feeling whole
forget the new feelings
doing the good thing
checking with my conscience to see if its ok
look people, its pretty simple
point the guns ahead and pull
the lines aren't difficult to recite
here, I can give them to you myself
no need to think
just act
remain silent and nodding
off into the blue wings
folding into the waves of force
you are safe
you are safe
you are safe
in the drama of being
insecure born into thinking
finding a line to draw, only blown away by the sand
going into it is feeling whole
forget the new feelings
doing the good thing
checking with my conscience to see if its ok
look people, its pretty simple
point the guns ahead and pull
the lines aren't difficult to recite
here, I can give them to you myself
no need to think
just act
remain silent and nodding
off into the blue wings
folding into the waves of force
you are safe
you are safe
you are safe
omghi2u
Typical boring day......tuesday, going to a staff dinner tonight. I'd rather go home to sleep. owell
in the drama of being
insecure born into thinking
finding a line to draw, only blown away by the sand
going into it is feeling whole
forget the new feelings
doing the good thing
checking with my conscience to see if its ok
look people, its pretty simple
point the guns ahead and pull
the lines aren't difficult to recite
here, I can give them to you myself
no need to think
just act
remain silent and nodding
off into the blue wings
folding into the waves of force
you are safe
you are safe
you are safe
in the drama of being
insecure born into thinking
finding a line to draw, only blown away by the sand
going into it is feeling whole
forget the new feelings
doing the good thing
checking with my conscience to see if its ok
look people, its pretty simple
point the guns ahead and pull
the lines aren't difficult to recite
here, I can give them to you myself
no need to think
just act
remain silent and nodding
off into the blue wings
folding into the waves of force
you are safe
you are safe
you are safe
Friday, June 17, 2005
yawn
I read an interesting thing form some Astrology- Numerology Website that I am life path 1. Meaning:
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#1
Yes I feel independant minded and strong willed, but how do I put it to use? Certainly not by sitting in front of a computer for the next 10 years. Whats the plan???? I've got to stop making excuses for marginal and bad behaviour. I need to take care of MYSELF, to the benefit of my loved ones..not to my own satisfaction. So it appears as thoug I am on the weak side of this trait....how do I balence it.....Whay do I need people telling me what to do?? Why can't I come up with something on my own?? BAH. cop out. Think about it.
In a shell of indifference the energy is quelled
going not to the destination, but to the dream
liquid and angry the senses flare
when do you learn to trust them
to trust them more than your mind can grasp
to leap into the air.....grasping at something
letting sheer will lift you up
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#1
- The Life Path 1 drive in this life is characterized by individualist desires, independence, and the need for personal attainment. The purpose to be fulfilled on this Life Path is that of becoming independent. This is a two part learning process; first, you must learn to stand on your own two feet and learn not to depend on others. After you are indeed free and independent, you must learn to be a leader. Many of our Generals, corporate leaders, and political leaders are men and women having the Life Path number 1. The 1 always has the potential for greatness as a leader, but they may fail as a follower. Many 1's spend most of their lives shaking off their dependent side. When this happens, there is little time left for enjoying the rewards to be gained through independence. The individual with Life Path 1 has to overcome an environment in which it is very easy to be dependent, and difficult to be independent.
A person with positive 1 traits abounds in creative inspiration, and possesses the enthusiasm and drive to accomplish a great deal. Your drive and potential for action comes directly from the enormous depth of strength you have. This is both the physical and inner varieties of strength. With this strength comes utter determination and the capability to lead. As a natural leader you have a flair for taking charge of any situation. Highly original, you may have talents as an inventor or innovator of some sort. In any work that you choose, your independent attitude can show through. You have very strong personal needs and desires, and you feel it is always necessary to follow your own convictions. You are ambitious, and either understand or must learn the need for aggressive action to promote yourself. Although you may hide the fact for social reasons, you are highly self-centered and demand to have your way in most circumstances.
When the 1 Life Path person is not fully developed and expressing the negative side of this number, the demeanor may appear very dependent rather than independent. If you are expressing this negative trait of the number 1, you are likely to be very dissatisfied with your circumstances, and long for self-sufficiency. This is defined as the weak or dependent side of the negative 1 Life Path. On the strong side of this negative curve, the 1 energy can become too self-serving, selfish and egotistical. Over-confidence and impatience mark this individual.
I do like to think of myself as independent, but something doesn't compute... wheres the drive?Yes I feel independant minded and strong willed, but how do I put it to use? Certainly not by sitting in front of a computer for the next 10 years. Whats the plan???? I've got to stop making excuses for marginal and bad behaviour. I need to take care of MYSELF, to the benefit of my loved ones..not to my own satisfaction. So it appears as thoug I am on the weak side of this trait....how do I balence it.....Whay do I need people telling me what to do?? Why can't I come up with something on my own?? BAH. cop out. Think about it.
In a shell of indifference the energy is quelled
going not to the destination, but to the dream
liquid and angry the senses flare
when do you learn to trust them
to trust them more than your mind can grasp
to leap into the air.....grasping at something
letting sheer will lift you up
yawn
I read an interesting thing form some Astrology- Numerology Website that I am life path 1. Meaning:
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#1
Yes I feel independant minded and strong willed, but how do I put it to use? Certainly not by sitting in front of a computer for the next 10 years. Whats the plan???? I've got to stop making excuses for marginal and bad behaviour. I need to take care of MYSELF, to the benefit of my loved ones..not to my own satisfaction. So it appears as thoug I am on the weak side of this trait....how do I balence it.....Whay do I need people telling me what to do?? Why can't I come up with something on my own?? BAH. cop out. Think about it.
In a shell of indifference the energy is quelled
going not to the destination, but to the dream
liquid and angry the senses flare
when do you learn to trust them
to trust them more than your mind can grasp
to leap into the air.....grasping at something
letting sheer will lift you up
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#1
- The Life Path 1 drive in this life is characterized by individualist desires, independence, and the need for personal attainment. The purpose to be fulfilled on this Life Path is that of becoming independent. This is a two part learning process; first, you must learn to stand on your own two feet and learn not to depend on others. After you are indeed free and independent, you must learn to be a leader. Many of our Generals, corporate leaders, and political leaders are men and women having the Life Path number 1. The 1 always has the potential for greatness as a leader, but they may fail as a follower. Many 1's spend most of their lives shaking off their dependent side. When this happens, there is little time left for enjoying the rewards to be gained through independence. The individual with Life Path 1 has to overcome an environment in which it is very easy to be dependent, and difficult to be independent.
A person with positive 1 traits abounds in creative inspiration, and possesses the enthusiasm and drive to accomplish a great deal. Your drive and potential for action comes directly from the enormous depth of strength you have. This is both the physical and inner varieties of strength. With this strength comes utter determination and the capability to lead. As a natural leader you have a flair for taking charge of any situation. Highly original, you may have talents as an inventor or innovator of some sort. In any work that you choose, your independent attitude can show through. You have very strong personal needs and desires, and you feel it is always necessary to follow your own convictions. You are ambitious, and either understand or must learn the need for aggressive action to promote yourself. Although you may hide the fact for social reasons, you are highly self-centered and demand to have your way in most circumstances.
When the 1 Life Path person is not fully developed and expressing the negative side of this number, the demeanor may appear very dependent rather than independent. If you are expressing this negative trait of the number 1, you are likely to be very dissatisfied with your circumstances, and long for self-sufficiency. This is defined as the weak or dependent side of the negative 1 Life Path. On the strong side of this negative curve, the 1 energy can become too self-serving, selfish and egotistical. Over-confidence and impatience mark this individual.
I do like to think of myself as independent, but something doesn't compute... wheres the drive?Yes I feel independant minded and strong willed, but how do I put it to use? Certainly not by sitting in front of a computer for the next 10 years. Whats the plan???? I've got to stop making excuses for marginal and bad behaviour. I need to take care of MYSELF, to the benefit of my loved ones..not to my own satisfaction. So it appears as thoug I am on the weak side of this trait....how do I balence it.....Whay do I need people telling me what to do?? Why can't I come up with something on my own?? BAH. cop out. Think about it.
In a shell of indifference the energy is quelled
going not to the destination, but to the dream
liquid and angry the senses flare
when do you learn to trust them
to trust them more than your mind can grasp
to leap into the air.....grasping at something
letting sheer will lift you up
Thursday, June 09, 2005
a light went out
I just going to post some random stuff, until I can find some sort of direction.
Maybe I can get inspired by something.
Study materials are the wors things ever written. I can not be compelled or compel myself to read this garbage. I am only encouraged to fall asleep. Open a CCNA training material book and tell me it aint true. I want to know this stuff, but reading is the last way for me to learn something. I just need to skip to the tasks I guess, and go backwards.....thats how I've always learned things. Break it and put it back together.
I have a desire to be something..I just wish someone would tell me what it is.
I still havent gotten anything for may Wife's birthday.....
Does there come a tim when your mind just decides to wake up....or do you need to get an alarm clock?
/\ / 0 0
<\/\/>
=====
Nope.....Got nothing....
Maybe I can get inspired by something.
Study materials are the wors things ever written. I can not be compelled or compel myself to read this garbage. I am only encouraged to fall asleep. Open a CCNA training material book and tell me it aint true. I want to know this stuff, but reading is the last way for me to learn something. I just need to skip to the tasks I guess, and go backwards.....thats how I've always learned things. Break it and put it back together.
I have a desire to be something..I just wish someone would tell me what it is.
I still havent gotten anything for may Wife's birthday.....
Does there come a tim when your mind just decides to wake up....or do you need to get an alarm clock?
/\ / 0 0
<\/\/>
=====
Nope.....Got nothing....
a light went out
I just going to post some random stuff, until I can find some sort of direction.
Maybe I can get inspired by something.
Study materials are the wors things ever written. I can not be compelled or compel myself to read this garbage. I am only encouraged to fall asleep. Open a CCNA training material book and tell me it aint true. I want to know this stuff, but reading is the last way for me to learn something. I just need to skip to the tasks I guess, and go backwards.....thats how I've always learned things. Break it and put it back together.
I have a desire to be something..I just wish someone would tell me what it is.
I still havent gotten anything for may Wife's birthday.....
Does there come a tim when your mind just decides to wake up....or do you need to get an alarm clock?
/\ / 0 0
<\/\/>
=====
Nope.....Got nothing....
Maybe I can get inspired by something.
Study materials are the wors things ever written. I can not be compelled or compel myself to read this garbage. I am only encouraged to fall asleep. Open a CCNA training material book and tell me it aint true. I want to know this stuff, but reading is the last way for me to learn something. I just need to skip to the tasks I guess, and go backwards.....thats how I've always learned things. Break it and put it back together.
I have a desire to be something..I just wish someone would tell me what it is.
I still havent gotten anything for may Wife's birthday.....
Does there come a tim when your mind just decides to wake up....or do you need to get an alarm clock?
/\ / 0 0
<\/\/>
=====
Nope.....Got nothing....
Monday, June 06, 2005
stuff
Guess I haven't kept this up very well....Not that it matters.
How can life be so full and feel so empty?
What makes me feel like this?
Where's the meaning?
Why can't I feel?
Why am I such a whiner?
How can life be so full and feel so empty?
What makes me feel like this?
Where's the meaning?
Why can't I feel?
Why am I such a whiner?
stuff
Guess I haven't kept this up very well....Not that it matters.
How can life be so full and feel so empty?
What makes me feel like this?
Where's the meaning?
Why can't I feel?
Why am I such a whiner?
How can life be so full and feel so empty?
What makes me feel like this?
Where's the meaning?
Why can't I feel?
Why am I such a whiner?
Monday, April 25, 2005
mondaze
Hey there. I really want to try and keep this up. Though its weird trying...I've never been much of a journal person. Whats weird is that when I was in high school I wrote every day, multiple times a day even. Did that part of my brain die? or did I just get busy with other stuff. There's this 16 yr old kid still inside of me. Desperate, craving approval, yearning for validation. I'm not desperate or unhappy, my wrist sure does hurt though. I hope it clears up soon, I hate doctors.
I spend far too much time in front of a monitor.
I wonder if any long term studies have been conducted regarding constant bombarding of light from a CRT tube. I've spent the better part of the last 6 years in front of a screen, I suppose I am exposed already. Am I serious....who knows, what is serious?
HM....I sound like some kind of ...oh whats that comedian's name.. Richard something...neurotic dude. oh well.
hone the shills
are the nights that young?
looking up, jumping neat like spirals
around the news and reviews
the sites are undeterminable
is it there?
under neath the clothes intrapped
by embarrasement looming inside
yearning want
too much time
ignored
under the moon
dancing in spirals.
Cleaned up a bunch last weekend, the wife wasn't speaking to me... but we cleared things up. And the house is spotless. Sha said she's just going to quit talking to me every now and then so that shit gets done around the house. Funny right. she's a card.
Speaking of cards, I'm currently on a decent run at PS...keeping my head above water. I'm organizing a Tourney for OT. Hopefully we'll get enough players forat least 2 tables. I had forgotten how much I liked PS. The play seems to be more steady there. More guys like me who know the rules and follow them somewhat. I'm enjoying the 2 table SNG's. Those take a good bit of time and patience, which I feel is my strong suit. Enough for now. Later.
I spend far too much time in front of a monitor.
I wonder if any long term studies have been conducted regarding constant bombarding of light from a CRT tube. I've spent the better part of the last 6 years in front of a screen, I suppose I am exposed already. Am I serious....who knows, what is serious?
HM....I sound like some kind of ...oh whats that comedian's name.. Richard something...neurotic dude. oh well.
hone the shills
are the nights that young?
looking up, jumping neat like spirals
around the news and reviews
the sites are undeterminable
is it there?
under neath the clothes intrapped
by embarrasement looming inside
yearning want
too much time
ignored
under the moon
dancing in spirals.
Cleaned up a bunch last weekend, the wife wasn't speaking to me... but we cleared things up. And the house is spotless. Sha said she's just going to quit talking to me every now and then so that shit gets done around the house. Funny right. she's a card.
Speaking of cards, I'm currently on a decent run at PS...keeping my head above water. I'm organizing a Tourney for OT. Hopefully we'll get enough players forat least 2 tables. I had forgotten how much I liked PS. The play seems to be more steady there. More guys like me who know the rules and follow them somewhat. I'm enjoying the 2 table SNG's. Those take a good bit of time and patience, which I feel is my strong suit. Enough for now. Later.
mondaze
Hey there. I really want to try and keep this up. Though its weird trying...I've never been much of a journal person. Whats weird is that when I was in high school I wrote every day, multiple times a day even. Did that part of my brain die? or did I just get busy with other stuff. There's this 16 yr old kid still inside of me. Desperate, craving approval, yearning for validation. I'm not desperate or unhappy, my wrist sure does hurt though. I hope it clears up soon, I hate doctors.
I spend far too much time in front of a monitor.
I wonder if any long term studies have been conducted regarding constant bombarding of light from a CRT tube. I've spent the better part of the last 6 years in front of a screen, I suppose I am exposed already. Am I serious....who knows, what is serious?
HM....I sound like some kind of ...oh whats that comedian's name.. Richard something...neurotic dude. oh well.
hone the shills
are the nights that young?
looking up, jumping neat like spirals
around the news and reviews
the sites are undeterminable
is it there?
under neath the clothes intrapped
by embarrasement looming inside
yearning want
too much time
ignored
under the moon
dancing in spirals.
Cleaned up a bunch last weekend, the wife wasn't speaking to me... but we cleared things up. And the house is spotless. Sha said she's just going to quit talking to me every now and then so that shit gets done around the house. Funny right. she's a card.
Speaking of cards, I'm currently on a decent run at PS...keeping my head above water. I'm organizing a Tourney for OT. Hopefully we'll get enough players forat least 2 tables. I had forgotten how much I liked PS. The play seems to be more steady there. More guys like me who know the rules and follow them somewhat. I'm enjoying the 2 table SNG's. Those take a good bit of time and patience, which I feel is my strong suit. Enough for now. Later.
I spend far too much time in front of a monitor.
I wonder if any long term studies have been conducted regarding constant bombarding of light from a CRT tube. I've spent the better part of the last 6 years in front of a screen, I suppose I am exposed already. Am I serious....who knows, what is serious?
HM....I sound like some kind of ...oh whats that comedian's name.. Richard something...neurotic dude. oh well.
hone the shills
are the nights that young?
looking up, jumping neat like spirals
around the news and reviews
the sites are undeterminable
is it there?
under neath the clothes intrapped
by embarrasement looming inside
yearning want
too much time
ignored
under the moon
dancing in spirals.
Cleaned up a bunch last weekend, the wife wasn't speaking to me... but we cleared things up. And the house is spotless. Sha said she's just going to quit talking to me every now and then so that shit gets done around the house. Funny right. she's a card.
Speaking of cards, I'm currently on a decent run at PS...keeping my head above water. I'm organizing a Tourney for OT. Hopefully we'll get enough players forat least 2 tables. I had forgotten how much I liked PS. The play seems to be more steady there. More guys like me who know the rules and follow them somewhat. I'm enjoying the 2 table SNG's. Those take a good bit of time and patience, which I feel is my strong suit. Enough for now. Later.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Not Much time
Wanted to report on the weekend. I came in 4th...just out of the money, after one rebuy. I didnt play badly....just never accumulated chips. My best had was KK vs AQ all in with about 7 ppl left. It felt good for the kings to hold up. We played some cash games afterward and I was able to get my entry and rebuy back, so It was a decent night.
Not Much time
Wanted to report on the weekend. I came in 4th...just out of the money, after one rebuy. I didnt play badly....just never accumulated chips. My best had was KK vs AQ all in with about 7 ppl left. It felt good for the kings to hold up. We played some cash games afterward and I was able to get my entry and rebuy back, so It was a decent night.
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