OMFG

Can not stop laughing...

Double secret probation.

So shortly after that last post I pulled a traditional skidoo move and blasted through the bankroll I built up since August.

Without further justification and explanation, here is 23skidoo's guide to bankroll mismanagement:

1. Get the itch to play poker. This usually coincides with a trip out of town, the wife is out, or you have consumed several adult beverages and you are bored.


2. Drop $100-$150 on to the poker account.


3. If you are lucky, you will find some of your invisible internet friends to rail or play with in a low stakes SNG or a blogger tournament. This path will usually scratch the poker itch and fill the need for some sort of interaction.


4. #3 is the exception to the rule.


5. In most scenarios you will vow to play good* and start with a one table low stakes sng.


6. Register for a $6 SNG and keep the lobby open at the $11- $22 level just in case**.


7. 5 minutes later the $6 SNG is down to 5 players and you are cruising to a win. This is when you go ahead and register for the $11 SNG with your expected winnnings. This move is always +EV


8. Now that you've got 2 tables going, its a good time to check your email and google reader so you don't play too many hands.


9. After timing out once at the $11 SNG and accidently clicking call on the all in in the $6 SNG. Go ahead and close your email and refocus.


10. Bubble the $6 and curse yourself, now you REALLY need to win the $11. Your best shot is to play hyper aggressive and make people fold.


11. Curse when you are snap called by QQ holding JTsooted.


12. Now that you've lost 1/2 to 1/4 of your initial deposit, you need to win a $14 superturbo to break even.


13. When you lose that, use the rest of your $ on a SNG and win it.


14. After this, go on a massive run until about 4AM when you fall asleep at the laptop up about $400.


15. Wait a few days and log back on to be surprised that you actually have cash left. Go through your hand history to see some of the stupid beats you put on some people playing $2/$4 PLO8.


16. Try to remember playing $2/$4 PLO8.


17. Vow to use your newfound winnings for good, and play sparingly for the next 6-8 weeks building your bankroll to the $1k range.


18. Repeat steps 1-14, but this time you start playing $100-$200 SNG's and lose 4 in a row.


19. Put the rest of your cash on a $2/$4 NLHE table and blow it on a flush draw.


20. Suspend yourself from FT and wait till next month.

There you have it folks, 23skidoo's guide to bankroll mismanagement, enjoy!

*This is an assumption that you actually know how to play properly.

**You have to go ahead and prepare yourself that you will get 2 outted for all your chips on the bubble.